Smartphone-free until 14, but his friends have to text his mum

A friend told me about a family who are holding off on a smartphone until 14. Good for them. They've thought about it, they're sticking to it, and he's doing fine.

There's just one wrinkle. When his friends want to meet up, they text his mum.

The bit nobody plans for

Holding off on a smartphone is about what the phone does: the feeds, the endless scroll, the stranger in the DMs. Families who wait are making a good call, and I'd say the same to anyone who can.

But plans between children now happen in group chats. If your child isn't on one, someone has to relay the message, and that's usually a parent. It's a small thing, but it's the opposite of what most of us want at 12 or 13: a child arranging their own Saturday.

The options, honestly

1. Carry on. If it's working and the relaying doesn't bother anyone, there's nothing to fix.
2. A brick phone. Calls and texts sort the "where are you, are you coming?" problem. But if the plans are being made in a WhatsApp group, a text-only phone still leaves him outside it.
3. A family phone that lives on the kitchen side. It's simple, but it doesn't help when he's already out.
4. A smartphone in brick mode. This is where Brickify fits. Calls and texts by default, and, if and when you're ready, one messaging app open at the times you choose. No browser, no app store, no social media.

Does that break the spirit of waiting?

I'd argue it keeps it. What families who wait are protecting their children from is the open-ended stuff, and none of that is switched on. When he turns 14, he won't go from nothing to everything overnight. You open one app at a time.

But be upfront about it. If you've agreed with other families to wait, a smartphone in brick mode isn't what everyone means by "no smartphone". Talk to them before he turns up with one. Some will be relieved to hear there's a middle option. Others will prefer to stick with a brick phone, and that's fine too.

One practical note: WhatsApp's minimum age in the UK is 13. If he's younger, keep the messaging step for later and use texts for now.